If you have looked up affairs or infidelity on the internet, you have likely gotten an onslaught of information, largely related to how bad the affair partner is, how their moral compass is off, and the oldie but goodie, “once a cheater, always a cheater” nonsense. But if you are the person that had the affair, this tends to be less than helpful and can make you cut and run, leading to further distress. While this article will certainly be difficult to read if you have been betrayed, this may be helpful for the person who did the betraying. And no, I am not going to lean into the dialogue that the affair has a shared responsibility in the original relationship (although it does) Instead, I am going to talk about grief and affairs.
